The Perfect Submissive Guy Blog Title

The roots of our society are patriarchal, an environment where a male-dominated society was perceived as normative. Gender roles were narrowly construed. Women, the “weaker sex” were cast in the submissive role. Males were portrayed as the socially powerful, physically strong and aggressive gender. The movement towards gender equality and flexibility has been slow.

Being Raised as a Male

The concept, masculinity has certain traits and characteristics assigned to it by our culture. Men are conditioned and socialized into believing certain characteristics are definitive in determining their manliness and masculinity. From the outset of a boy's life he is socialized to believe that he must be tough. If a boy gets hurt, perhaps scrapes a knee and goes whimpering to a parent, invariably he is admonished with, “Big boys don't cry.” We are raised to engage in only “manly” activities and forbidden to play with toys or do things which society deems feminine.

Interestingly, the way boys are taught the definition and expectations of masculinity is that we are not taught so much to be manly but rather to not be feminine. For boys, being called “girl” or “sissy” is the greatest fear and the highest insult imaginable, an insult that boys will go to any length to avoid having leveled at them.

My History

For most of my life I accepted the truths that I had been conditioned and socialized to embrace. Masculinity meant that I should be immune to pain (or at least no show it), be emotionally unexpressive (except when angry) and always strong and assertive in my interactions with others - the epitome of the strong, silent type portrayed in films and other media. To do otherwise I believed would be interpreted as a sign of weakness and that society would view me as abnormal, inferior and lacking in masculinity.

I existed in a gender straightjacket that left me not particularly emotionally healthy. I often felt stress, anger, despair and even depression at times, unaware that at the root of it all was my suppression of a whole range of feelings and emotions, locked securely behind my mask of masculinity.

Most of the problems men have in relating to women I think stem from living too much the role of the historic traditional male. Men are often criticized by women for being too one dimensional in their behavior and emotions. “Men are so insensitive!” Yet if a man exhibits sensitivity and shows his emotions, he is often labeled as a sissy and viewed as less than a man. It is a “Catch 22” leaving many men confused about how they should act.

Another Paradigm

A decade ago, I was introduced to a whole new perspective on gender roles and behavior. I learned that there was for the modern heterosexual male, another choice besides the old traditional model. That choice, being a submissive male, was in time something that I found resonated with me to my very core on many levels.

Having been raised with an abiding respect for women and having a history of treating them deferentially, in a chivalrous-type way, the concept of submitting to and serving an intelligent, assertive, powerful and feminine woman was not at all far fetched. I was comfortable in being around strong, dominant women and did not find them to be a threat to my masculinity. In time, I acknowledged that I felt intensely drawn to them.

Why I Submit

Answering the question why I submit, is many faceted. A part of it is the intense feelings of freedom I receive from it. To understand that, imagine for a moment how freeing it feels being seen, known, accepted and even cherished for your whole self, with no need to hide your greatest talents or your quirkiest quirks. Imagine being given free rein to follow your dreams with a partner who understands you and your needs and whose own talents, interests and needs perfectly compliment your own. Imagine the freedom of surrendering to someone with the strength and wisdom to push your limits and expand your boundaries.

There are those offended by the idea of submissive men believing that they are less than men - weak, wimpy losers. Even within our lifestyle there are those who find the idea of a man submitting to a woman unnatural. Yet I do not see it as abnormal nor do I view submission, whether on the part of a female or male as a sign of weakness. Actually, it is quite the opposite. I think it takes great strength to bow to a dominant and to allow them to make all the decisions.

My greatest pleasure in life is pleasing my partner. Sensitivity to and singular focus on my partners needs and wants easily cause me to elevate them and make them the priority above my own. Having a deep and abiding respect for women in general, a desire and willingness to serve them and an attraction to strong, dominant women, I think just led me quite naturally to submission.

I have chosen to shed the old limiting ideas about masculinity as a snake sloughs off its skin. When I submit to a powerful female I find relief from the stresses of daily life. The intimacy, physical stimulus, satisfaction and release are intensified as I submit. I find acceptance as an emotionally healthy and more rounded human being without the baggage of unrepressed emotions.

In submission, I expand my potential as a human being and find greater happiness and satisfaction with nearly every aspect of life. I have discovered that there is flexibility in manhood and I have simply taken a different route.