*sigh*
this is one topic i need help on, basically because most of you here know more than i do. I'm afraid that i've gotten myself into a tight spot with a lad back home (in Greece). He has a very very dominant character, the sex has always been rough, but the past year or so (i've known him for 4-5 years) he imposes himself on me even when we go out with friends for a couple of pints. The thing is that he isn't always that way, i mean there are times when he will sit down with me and discuss the sex, discuss what went wrong, discuss why i broke down crying and how i felt. The thing is that even after the discussion, nothing changes.
My problem is that the relationship developed like this without any negotiation or talk on it, i mean, i've grown used to doing as i'm told when i'm around him, used to being -mildly- slapped if i toe the line so to speak. However, i think that i'm trying to adapt his actions and words to the Lifestyle, in order to satisfy my need for a r/l Dominant and thus reassure myself that i haven't gotten in an abusive relationship. However there are so many common aspects in him and my O/L Master, yet so many differences as well, that i don't know how to proceed. This has come to my mind because i'm going back to Greece in 4 days for the Easter holidays and will meet him and well, things will go as he plans them to go.
I'm just wondering whether i'm being silly in continuing this sort of thing, i mean, if i'm being psychologically abused by this person (who i know loves me dearly) because i'm trying to build the relationship into something that it's not.