I wrote this just to get it off my chest. Feel free to comment, but don't feel compelled to.



Happy, feeling the light and warmth from your gaze. Close to you, body, mind, and soul at peace. Safe in your arms, all else forgotten. I look at you, thankful to be near you. You look back, your gaze welcoming at first, forcing me to trust you. Then, you hurl me into the darkness, forcing me from your arms. I reach out for you, seeking you in the darkness, calling your name, my voice echoing in the emptiness. Desperately I search, feeling my way in the darkness. Where did you go? Calling your name, crying out for your light and warmth to come back to me. Again my voice echoes in the darkness, the true weight of my solitude hitting me fast, knocking me from my feet, leaving me winded, lying on the floor. As the darkness closes around me a new feeling rises up from deep within me….anger. Why would you leave me? Why do you flee from my side? What had I done? Why was I unable to keep you with me? Silently I struggle in the darkness, trying to resist as the anger spreads through my veins like poison, burning inside me. I curse you, silently first, then out loud, letting it burst forth from me, screaming out at you, all my energy focused on the expulsion of that one outburst. I lay exhausted, unable to move, barely able to think, just wanting you, to hear your voice once more. Slowly my clarity returns, forcing me to once again acknowledge the darkness, the poison still flowing freely through me. Had you really left me in the darkness? Was that why I felt as if I would explode in fury? My mind fights, forcing the real reason to the front. I placed myself in the darkness. You made me long to be with you, and at the first sign of your retreat I felt lost. Your words hurt, but not how I thought they would. Your words showed me my own inability. Why could I not help you? Why did it seem that all my problems disappeared with one word from you, and yet yours remained no matter how hard I tried to fight them for you? My fists clench, my eyes close, holding back the scream. Slowly I breathe, forcing the poison to leave me, slowly bringing myself back to peace, back to center, back to you. As the last of it leaves, my eyes open and I feel me care for you filling me, lifting me from the floor, pulling me from the darkness, revealing the light once more. You threw me into the darkness but I refuse to stay there, refuse to be kept from you, refuse to let you hold me back any longer. And so, quietly and calmly I wait for you to bring the warmth back into the light. Quietly and calmly I wait for you.