BDSM and real life

[SweetNShy_Sam]

I've always been into BDSM since I was 26 years old and I knew of it always. None of my family knows about it. I suffer with a mental illness and a lot of people tell me that I shouldn't get involved into BDSM because of it. I have bipolar and get mood swings a lot. I tend to cry at times, angry and isolate myself at times. During these times, I always look after myself. The one thing that hurts is how people treat me sometimes, especially when I'm upset and treat me harshly. When I'm upset, I can't think straight at all. My mind goes completely crazy and all I can think of is sadness during that moment. Anytime I'm upset my friends tend to leave me alone until I calm down. Sometimes it's hard to control this anger. It doesn't happen a lot but when it does it's scary. I've learned to control it a lot of the time. Many of my friends all respect me still and are there for me. I just don't depend on them constantly all the time because half the time I take care of myself. Anytime I'm depressed or sad though all I think is pessimism and I'm not thinking clearly. It gets even worse during PMS. I've had Dom's before in real life and they understood it. Especially the last one I was with and he understood it better than anyone else. I still remember how he took me to my doctors, my therapist and we ended up falling in love. He's the closest person who ever got close to me. There's things he knew about me, more than anyone else. Right now he's going through a hard time and we ended up breaking it off because he's not in a healthy state of mind. He still contacts me, talks to me, calls me up sometimes and is close to me. I've tried to find other Dom's after him and I left with nothing but disappointment. These are just my struggles alone with this kind of lifestyle and BDSM. I know many people who have a mental illness and still very much into BDSM. It's a lot of work, patience, though it can be done. Sometimes I just feel as if people are not patient enough to handle this kind of thing. Though there's Dom's out there who are perfectly fine with it and will be patient as long as their communication. My Dom ended up becoming my boyfriend in the end and I still remember when I met him outside of Wal-Mart. He wouldn't stop calling me and he always wanted to see me. He washed my hair, my body and felt close to me. I'm glad that he came apart of my life. He was there for me when I got Kidney Stones this summer and was in a lot of pain and he admitted to me that he missed me. I was completely shocked by what he said to me. Deep down he had a lot of heart and deeply cared about me. He told me he'll always comfort me, be there for me and can talk to him as a friend. If anyone ever hurts me me ever, I know I can count on him to be there for me. He's a wonderful person and I'm glad that I found him. Just felt like I should speak my mind: about having a mental illness and being interested into the BDSM lifestyle.

[SlaveSubslutspank1]

Hi wanna chat?