morwyn{Myrddin}

Tonight as i sit here, unable to sleep once more i find myself in a thinking mode (always a problem lol). i spent the majority of the evening on the phone with a beloved friend of mine and i ended up wondering why it is that we choose the people we do in our lives. You see her and i are polar opposites on everything. We are both the same age. She is straight, i am not, she is naive and innocent, i am not, she is vanilla, i am not, she is a virgin, and despite my claims to the contrary, i must confess i am not lol. (Sorry to break it to You in this way Master!). Yet in spite of all our differences, too many to name here, she is my true soul mate, in the deepest sense of the word. She does not feel the need to understand why it is that i make the choices i do, but she understands me.......who i am at a heart level, and in her wisdom she knows that all the rest of lifes choices are merely the decoration. In 4 days time i am flying the length of our country and going to spend some time with her and cannot wait. She is the one person in my life who knows the deepest secrets of my soul, ones that even my Beloved One may never know. She knows the darknesses, she has shared the walk with me through them into the light places i now find myself. We are an unlikely pairing (till you get the 2 of us in a boot shop, then it is all on lol) i love her. Then i was thinking about why it is that my Beloved Master Myrddin and i connected at the level W/we did. Was it the fact that He tolerated my cheekiness? Was it the way He seemed to know when my heart was troubled even before i did? Was it the way He can type in complete sentences? lol. Maybe all those, but it was so much more. He is the kind of person that even were He not my Master i would count it an honour to have as a friend. He is a man of honour, honesty, openness and great intelligence and heart. It shines through so strongly in His Ownership of me. i think that ones heart knows exactly what one needs. i think that the heart makes a decision at a knowing level that the mind could never touch. i wish i could express my feelings about Him, yet feel stymied by a lack of words that can express. How do you say to Someone exactly what you feel for them?
Do you start by saying......."From a place so far away, far above the sky, way beyond forever You came and rescued me from my dark and lonely night. Now i want the world to see that You were sent for me. i look at You and i see forever in Your eyes, You bring me heaven by Your very breath. Your lips are a taste of ecstasy, coursing through my veins. i fall to my knees before You without thought, without doubt, without pretence for You are worthy. i do not have to see You to know You are there, Your presence is all around me, surrounding me with a wall of love, protection, security. Sweet surrender to divine power. From the hidden places of soul/mind and spirit You draw me out, my mind knows Your touch, my body knows Your touch, and my life celebrates Your presence in it, by word, by action and by heart. Master You are beyond who i could have dreamed."
Does a girl say all that or does she simply lay herslf down at His feet, looking up to meet his eyes with one word on her tongue........."Master"

i began this speaking of my beloved friend, and have ended with my beloved Master. i am truely blessed!

Anyway, maybe now that these words are out i will be able to sleep lol.
Nos da, goodnight, till we meet again when the dawn awakens the morrow.

morwyn of Myrddin