Resist

There are hundreds (if not thousands) of facets of BDSM, and I don't believe there is any single person who enjoys them all. In fact, I would assert that for every one niche of BDSM, there are thousands of BDSM enthusiasts who find that particular thing repellent.

For example, this morning I saw a photo of a "Pony Girl". There is nothing wrong with this fetish, of course, but the idea of making my good girl pull me around in a cart or wear a tail...well, I had to start laughing.

The reason I bring this up is because there is one facet of BDSM (and relationships in general, but especially so, here) that is absolutely mandatory: Trust.

I think this is especially relevant to the members of this site, among whom online connections are so prevalent.

I am not going to touch on trust in the dungeon--I'm sure we're all familiar with this. Honesty, communication, connection...all indispensable.

Murkier (and more difficult) is regular old average person-to-person trust. I have long marveled (and often disbelieved) at those in polyamorous relationships who say that their trust is absolute and that jealousy is not an issue. I do not think this would be possible for me--I adore my beautiful and brilliant girl far too much to be interested in anyone else, much less be open to sharing her with another man, woman, or couple.

(Aside: I hear similar things from so many people, I find it ironic that this culture is steeped so deeply both in sexual liberalism and, in many ways, traditional values.)

The reason I'm writing this is not out of confusion, but as a reminder that trust is the foundation of everything--even all the disparate niches--we have in common. Build it and nourish it. It takes work and communication and leaps of faith. It's worth it.


R