good_girl

When I first saw this new forum subject my thought was “cool, a place to tell my whole story” and then I began to wonder how I would tell it without boring readers to death. I want back and forth and finally decided that this would have been very useful for me to read others stories when I had first arrived here at the library. So…I am writing this for myself first and then for any newcomers who might find it helpful to relate to someone, as well as for anyone who might find it interesting.

Who am I and how did I get here?
I’m good_girl
I just had my 40th birthday but I don’t feel anywhere near old enough to be 40 so I went backwards this year…I’m 38 now

In order for you to know me you need to know a bit about who I used to be, so here goes.

I am mother to my beautiful 21 year old daughter, I had her when I was just 18 (thanks mom and dad for all your help) Life was rough being a single mom, but I was a survivor.
At 25 I met the love of my life…ya right
Fast forward 13 years….I’m now divorced from a crack addict who spent the last 7 years of our relationship lying to me, verbally abusing me and destroying me….but again, I proved myself to be a survivor *smiles proudly* I got out.
This was probably the scariest time in my life, I had spent my entire adulthood being a wife and mother. My daughter now grown, my marriage done…I didn’t know who I was or where I belonged…my self esteem nonexistent, I felt completely useless, my future so uncertain…I wanted to lay down and die…and then it hit me…I’m a survivor…I have to fix it.
I picked myself up, dusted myself off and had a look around…the world was a very scary place for me…I got counseling, took a self esteem workshop, disconnected from anyone negative in my life, made new friends, bonded with my daughter in a way I didn’t know was possible (she is amazing)….I got happy *smiles*

*takes a deep breath to clear the lump in my throat*

This has been hard for me to write so I’m gonna leave it here for now and pick up later…to be continued…..