Atrum Visum

Have you ever been in a place where you can see happiness just out of reach; just out of your grasp yet so close you could see it, smell it, perhaps even taste it. So close that you can physically feel the need to be where you cannot go. A situation that makes you so miserable that you become willing to do anything short of something illegal to make it possible; to have what you want. A yearning so intense that it pervades every waking minute of everyday. A need so deep that every breath becomes a struggle as you try to find a way make the hurt go away.

How do you cope? How do you assuage the need? How do keep on with life when life offers no hope? How do you bear the sorrow of not having what you so desperately want?

What price do I have to pay to find the place I want to be? I will pay it. What challenge must I face to gain what I so desperately want? I will face it. What pain must I endure to finally find the happiness that I have yearned for? I will endure it.

In the end, I am nothing. I am but a man who wants nothing more than what he can see just beyond his grasp. I am but a man, who is without guile, without motive, without. . . without that which I want do desperately that I am lost in the need.

To whatever Gods there may be I make this plea. Help me have this that I want. Help me achieve this what I need. Help me gain this love that I so desire.

TDS