Enseignez-moi, s'il vous-plait

which is why i've been avoiding it. life has been crazy and I have been avoiding a lot lately. Currently I'm avoiding school work by blogging. The circle never ends.

So after the initial, "hey this could work" with my Domme, we wasted no time in trying it out. We had played around with spanking and biting before and we both have extremely dirty mouths when it comes to sex, but never in a distinguished domme/sub sort of way. And sex has been an issue with us due to her teeny tiny libido and my elephant-sized libido (do elephants have big libidos? maybe i mean whale-sized...). Apparently, though, going over the "what are we willing to try" list was enough to get her ready to go.

What I had before chalked up to being "triggered" I had already started to realize that it was more guilt that I was feeling after (over finding something a turn on that i thought shouldn't be) than emotionally distraught over re-living something that happened to me when I was raped (most of which I don't really remember). My Catholic upbringing gets in the way of my fun a lot, so now I'm working to get over that.

After finishing checking off items on our list, Bella immediately tried out her role. "Bedroom. Now." those words still send shivers down my spine. it was happening! finally happening!! Ordered to take off my clothes, and then help her with hers, I was made to lay ass-up on the bed, like her good little whore. I dripped at her commands, wanting nothing more than to please her. Wanting to lay all my trust into her and let her take what she needed. Becoming a sub has been liberating.

That first time was exhausting. The best sex we've ever had by far. She played into fantasies i've never told her I have and we both learned some new tricks. Her wetness against my ass, riding me... it's enough to make me come here and now. Bell's far more open than I give her credit for. She even eagerly opened up my newest toy (some anal beads picked up in NY the previous sunday) and put it to use. It makes me want to go shopping every weekend, just to see how quickly i can get her to jump me.

that first time, that was great... we spent a lot of time after going over what was good, what wasn't, how we felt... the love coming from my Domme was just amazing. She held me in her arms and kept me safe, kissing my bruises and grinning. We both have our own pasts, which haunt our presents, that we have to deal with. With her I feel I can overcome anything. if she lets me