chalsia

i hate chat rooms, i hate feeling that i take stuff even remotely serious. i hate myself for that more then i can even put into words. Actually writing this with tears streaming down my face, because i just simply have to put my emotions and feelings into words, so perhaps i will learn from it, perhaps i will look back and shake my head and will not get things get to me like they do. I mean it's just a chat room right?
i have met some great people here .. one more then just great and i thought by going to the chat room and interacting with people.. well i thought wrong.
ok this is what happened and yes i know i'm stupid.
was sorta joking around in the chat room, i mean we talked about everything from going to Dairy Queen to Obama.. and someone said something about *spanking* and i said i sorta liked spanking. From there it went to how to spank, like whip, or paddle or bare hand and which time i sorta fell quiet. i mean i have never ever done anything in cyber and all of sudden all this got very uncomfortable. Well some people kept at it to the point where some Dominant said to a submissive: "Do you want me to rip her a new one". I don't know why, but it hurt.. it made me cry.. why would anyone ever want to say that or want to do to me, i have never ever done anything to that person. To the defense of the submissive she said that she never ever wanted such thing for me, but it was too late.. it left me in tears and lost. Yes lost, because i did not know what to say or do and felt suddenly and utterly alone and crying. I'm such a fool to actually sit here, tears streaming down my face while thinking of the incident. But why would anyone say something like that to me, why? I want to run away and hide, but i won't .. i'm stronger than that. Sorry about my rambling, sorry about my confusion.. sorry the way i'm.