thrall

i do not understand...i dont think i ever will....why must i always be viewed as a threat?

to the silent depts
chained and moored
once again
my home

i do not have the right to feel this way........

i do not have the right to these tears......


and that...deepens the sadness even more.........

i can not even describe how sad i am right now...

the program we watched.....listening to the reasons......and the tears welling.....and holding them back....the cry of pain and anger.....choking in my throat........


the this morning...

the dammed if you do or dont options i have right now..

i may not hang up...because that is wrong

and i may not talk..because that is wrong as well......

Crystalline purity
Clinging to barren branches
Alluring
Deadly but beautiful
Beware the falling ice
I cover my eyes
And
Mourn

why must everything i want and need....be impossible???

I am reminded of who i am today........scary to have my own words come back and haunt me.

knowing the answers.......knowing them......doesn't make the knowledge any less bitter......

It is so much better to .....be the light....and have the world bask in its warmth.......then to dare look upon it myself..........

Can time turn back?...will the chips of marble return to its block of origin.....and reseal the statue within?

Today i'm angry.......and very disappointed! I understand the reasons....but still that doesn't make it much better....game face on......and cowboy up!