believeinme

I will let you keep your dignity.
Your fantasy, your lies..these will remain secret so that you can save face. Three people know the truth.
How tragic it must be to live your life unable to accept defeat graciously.,needing to fabricate the reason why.
What a tangled web we weave when we try to deceive.
Sleep well, awake and look in the mirror......do you like what you see?
Dont fear, I wont expose you .........just remember,
Before you can be true to ...

I felt it for real....you felt it in your mind.
I tasted him as he did me....you licked your lips pretending.
I heard his words....you only read them.
I see the marks.....you merely wished for them.
I held him in my arms....you only hoped.
I awoke to him.....you only dreamt of him.
I have him......you never did.
I am his desire.....you were a fill in.
I am his need....you were a toy.
I am his love....you were his amusement.
We ...

One more brick to go, the mortar is loose, push hard.....I'm holding on...clinging tight...fingernails grasping the crumbling cement. Waves of past hurt ebb and flow, visions of smiles,words of re assurance., let me drop to my knees.....blur my vision of others unrequited love for you, .....................hold my hair, the gentle force of you ....weaken my defence, let me mould onto you..my lips, tight, surround your power. Hold me there, swallowing deep, feeling you warm me......finally reality, ...

If my pain causes another to grow then so be it. Isnt that why we are here anyway...to teach, show and explain to others a right way to act. Its getting close for me to stand on my own two feet.....give this all away. My time is running out....the thrill of me is becoming stale. Ive learnt along the way....learnt to trust, to give my all, to do all I can to please and submit..... the twists and turns.....the tears and laughter.....all this will never be lost. I just cant stand the memory of being ...

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your ...

Your punishment of silence and harsh words is over. The time you gave me for reflection was time spent well. Tears, hurt, physical sickness. I understand now.....my torture was your torture....necessary for both of us to grow stronger. I doubted your reasons as to my pain...again, you were right. I never should have questioned this..... I thought I had given you my everything.....but you found more within me. Now I just want to accept that you are here to guide me, teach me, take me......show me ...

You whipped me well..too well. These marks , deep..to the bone. Not enjoyable...not deserved. Inflicted in anger, the cardinal rule broken. Left to heal on my own, no compassion, no care. The marks will fade..the memory wont. The control I admired in you.....gone. What happened?.....Why?

Sometimes your best just isnt enough......
Sometimes you just have to realise that you cant change peoples minds.....
Sometimes you just cant do it anymore....
Sometimes you have to believe it wasnt your fault.....
Sometimes you need to stop trying so hard....
Sometimes you are allowed to stop allowing yourself to hurt....
Sometimes the accuser will realize they were wrong......
Sometimes its too late......
Sometimes our own anger clouds our ...

The craving that has been burning deep inside for months for the words to become reality is now so intense that I start to wonder if they will measure up. My fears of failure swell inside, the doubt of self worth bubble to the surface, the tribulation in my mind of not being able to be all that is expected. Time has been cruel to us.....yet has allowed us to bear our souls to one another behind the safety of a screen. Emotions have been spilled, desires and needs unravelled, love and anger expressed. ...