|
|
|
|
|
Aurelia's Torture and Exection: A Tale from Rome
Author: Paul Octo
|
| |
(Added on Feb 18, 2011)
(This month 25280 readers) (Total 44831 readers) |
| |
The story is setup in ancient Rome (500 BCE). Aurelia is a noblewoman makes the worst enemies. She is sentenced to be executed in the arena in the most painful and humiliating manner. This is a story from a time where all senators and emperors had to do was fuel the crowds with blood and death in the coloseous. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
17% |
17% |
0% |
33% |
17% |
0% |
17% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Tavy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 30, 2015 |
| |
Enjoyable story; historical accuracy needs to be ognored but having done that I was certainly glad I read it. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
tjlewis132
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 28, 2011 |
| |
Here's a ten just to piss off the other reviewers to date. (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 23, 2011 |
| |
Generally, I read the reviews about a story before I read the actual tale. This tells me quite a bit, including whether I should even bother reading a new story. But I'll be honest here. While I certainly think that the complaints about the author's "historical facts" have merit, especially given that the author has a penchant for adding "explanations" or "facts" in the middle of the story, I also think that in order to REALLY review Aurelia's Torture and Execution, one must look PAST the historical accuracy errors.
*
So we can take a look at some of the OTHER errors. First of all, I never have high hopes for a story in which a word in the TITLE is misspelled. It's "Execution", not Exection. Exection isn't even a word. Or I suppose the word might have been "Erection", which might make sense considering what happens to the protagonist in this little tale. That said there are quite a few distracting grammatical errors throughout this story. Heck, in one section the word "sperm" was used six times in three sentences. And frankly, I'm pretty sure that "spermy" is not a word. It IS funny though. "Sperm spewed mud" or "sperm riddled muck" might have been a better choice. To be honest, I can't help suspecting that English is not the author's primary language. If it's not, then he's doing a really really great job and should be applauded. If he was born in Wisconsin, then America's socialist education system really has failed us.
*
Let's move on to plot. At the very beginning of the story the author lays down a rather meaningless justification for Aurelia's Torture and "Exection". (Sorry, but that IS the title, right?) And I can prove it is meaningless because it takes only six sentences to get us there. In six sentences, our antagonist (or is it protagonist? I never can really tell in these brutal rape and torture stories. I sort of WANT Acrisius to win...) Acrisius finds the perfect justification for "Execting" his 17 year old wife, rejects it, and decides to trump up charges of treason. Huh? Oh, and by the way, Roman family structure gave the power of life and death to the family patriarch anyway. Acrisius could have done ANYTHING he wanted to poor little Aurelia ANYWAY! I guess he just didn't want the other senators knowing that he couldn't satisfy his nympho wife. From a story perspective though, the plot progression moved too fast. It was too convenient and really wasn't even necessary. In a case like this, it's better just to stick to one reason for the "exection" (Ha ha ha.. I'm sure by now EVERYONE regrets the misspelling in the title, right?) or to remove the reason entirely. The reader doesn't need to KNOW why Aurelia is being executed. It just IS.
*
Things move on rather quickly from the whole killing the lover scene. Aurelia is detained, framed, humiliated and beaten up, gang-raped, whipped, and then crucified. Holy crap. The author even nicely breaks up each action into sections so if you really aren't into the whole humiliation thing, you can skip right to the gang-rape part. Not to mince things too fine, the author does a decent job with the action here. In fact, all of his action scenes are what everyone who loves a good bloody violent visceral, but slightly sexual, snuff wants. I personally got lost in the story during the whipping scene, especially when she was flipped over so her front could get the same treatment. Those last fifty strokes though... wow. Talk about a decent climax...
*
Part of me wants to advise the author to add more description, but in all honesty, I'm not sure that's a good idea. He actually does a good job of describing things. The sense of "shallowness" that comes from the story is due to the lightning speed of plot progression, rather than a failure to describe things. Everything that happens is action based and is boom boom boom. There is hardly any dialog, and very little description about anything OTHER that the action. Sure, the author could write out more descriptions, especially of environments. For example, we could have been told the sand was hot BEFORE Aurelia was flipped over and cooked a second time. But I'm not sure readers could handle more descriptive depth during the torture scenes. They're pretty dark as it is.
*
I could have sworn that I've read another Paul Octo story, but I can't seem to find it on the listing for this author. Maybe it was deleted during that screwup the library experienced a few months ago. I seem to want to compare the two different stories, but I can't because I can't even prove I read a previous Paul Octo story. Damn.
*
So all in all, if you are actually into snuff stories that are pretty dark and bloody, then Aurelia's Torture and Exection is actually a decent tale and worth reading. Sure, the time period is off, but unless you're an anal and arrogant Belgian or Frenchman... or hell, any European, it shouldn't really matter (you can again thank American Socialized Public Education for that! And yes, I'm just joking about anal and arrogant Europeans and I AM making snide comments about American's education. I'm an American and I can get away with it.) As long as there is blood, gore, rape, whipping, torture, sex, and death, we'll go for it.
*
I think (especially if I'm right about having read a previous Paul Octo story) that this author has a lot going for him. He certainly has the creativity to build elaborate scenes that titillate and provide what some readers will want. Now it's just a refinement process to change a gore-fest horror film into something worthy of an Oscar. Difficult? Maybe, but we'll give this author time.
*
Yours Faithfully,
Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Feb 23, 2011)
- I was RIGHT! There IS another Paul Octo story! I reviewed it ages ago. It's entitled "Melissa". I have no idea why the BDSM Library created a new profile for the author. Strange.
- Replied by:
triple_mBB
(Edit) (Feb 23, 2011)
- Wow... you write great reviews. Mostly the reviews you write are more interesting then the reviewed story itself. I would love to have one of my stories reviewed by you. The only little problem: I write in German :0(
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Feb 24, 2011)
- Danke. Leider weiß ich nicht sprechen oder lesen Deutsch. And boy I hope Google Translator got that right. I have a great respect for Germany though. My family is descended from there and I've actually written one story entitled "The Museum of Inquisition" that takes place in Germany. However, if at any time you translate one of your stories into English, or write one originally in the language, please contact me. I'd be delighted to read it!
*
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
- Replied by:
octopaul
(Edit) (Feb 24, 2011)
- @Michael Alexander
It is such an honor to have you reviewing both my stories. I thank you for your feedback.
I have tried to make the story more compact this time around instead of having needless cliffhangers as you mentioned before and i guess that led into some sort of "fast food" story with little character building. Now i need to find the middle ground.
You are right: English is not my first language but "Execution" was simply a mistimed unfortunate typo :)
For the guys who commented on my historical accuracy, I did check the wikipedia links and I think i got the main theme correctly however as i said at the start of the story "historical accuracy is NOT intended, but is observed as much as possible, so don't pick on it too much.
hope you enjoy the coming story..
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Feb 24, 2011)
- Mr. Paul,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to READ your work. I have to admit that I have a bit of a fetish for this type of content, despite the fact I don't really write it myself. So any time I see something this... bloody... I'm pretty sure to at LEAST TRY to read it. In your case, I've really enjoyed your work. Thank you also for the confirmation that English is NOT your first language. That makes what you are doing even MORE incredible because to be honest, while there were some errors, the language usage was actually pretty decent and better than eighty percent of what Wisconsin's public education could produce. Granted, it might help if the teachers were actually in school teaching, but I digress.
*
I look forward to reading your next adventure. My advice? Leave out the "historical footnotes", create a compelling plot arch, and then torture to death whatever girl is the main character. You won't go wrong!
*
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
monsignor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2011 |
| |
I must agree about the historical background. Rome would not have held "games" or even had an arena as you depict it. I might say that you could depict situations without specific dates that people could more readily accept. Something like this during Caligula's reign was most likely commonplace... tho 6 to 7 hundred years later. (4/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
triple_mBB
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2011 |
| |
The historical background is ridiculous. 400-500 before christ, rome was nothing more then a little town in the Latium. (No Emperors (last 20 years before christ) a few senators and no coloseous (between 70 and 80 after christ) Please read at least the concerning wikipediaarticles before you set a story with "historical" background.
I know it sounds so European-arrogant: But such huge historical errors are made to support that Cliché among Europeans, that Americans have no general culture at all.
If I was you I would set the story between 80 and 90 after Christ (Emperor Domitian) who persecuted and tortured the followers of a recently born religion named "christianity"
Greetings from Belgium (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
tjlewis132
(Edit) (Feb 22, 2011)
- No, we Americans only save your asses during world wars.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Feb 26, 2011)
- Get a life, Lewis. The Belgian is right, and I think you just helped him make his point. Those who do not know history should not write it, even if you do have ancestors who jump into a war the Soviets were winning without them.
- Replied by:
tjlewis132
(Edit) (Feb 27, 2011)
- Curtis... Curtis... Curtis! I"LL try to keep the words to my response to yours at no more then a sixth grade level. (No long words so hopefully you'll not need anyone reading it back to you) First off, if your ancestors weren't raising their arms in surrender, mine wouldn't have had to fight a war. Now, not only a far flung insult by 'triple mBB' but you take the extra step and become more then a little personal, well, touche'. As I chuckle at your ignorance while I was hoping for my baited post to draw a response from him, isn't it rather ironic the very thing he has a problem with, the accuracy of historical facts, his lapdog makes one of the most stupid, uneducated charges imaginable. Maybe you should have someone read a little history to you if you're not yet to that level yourself. Now, put down your crayons and follow as closely as possible, ready? The USA entered WWII in December of 1941 with the bombing of Pearl Harbor (That's in the Hawaiian Islands, out in the mid Pacific Ocean and at the time a US territory sinse 1898... And it was the Japanese with a surprise attack, leading to their ally, Nazi Germany also declaring war on the USA... That tibit also includes your geography lesson for the day, free of charge, and your welcome) Now here's the rub to your fairytale, Russia's entire western front had already been blitzkrieged by operation 'Barbarossa' all the way to Stalingrad that was to be 90% occupied by the Wehrmacht at that recorded time in history. I'm not going too fast for you am I? Anyway, so much for the war you claim the Soviets were winning (Damn! Hate to imagine then if they weren't losing) Now follow me, it wasn't until early 1943 the Russians regained what was left of the burnt out city of Stalingrad and began turning the tables (Yes, that's more then a full year later if your math's as poor as your history) Thanks to the might of US industry supplying the allies, especially Russia with vasts amounts of war materials, not to mention mounting a serious second front even as we also confronted the Rising Sun Empire, thus giving the Russians the ability to inflict on Germany its first real defeat in extended battle (Not to mention a winter only matched by the one that led to the downfall of Russia's other infamous invader, Napoleon) Oh, by the way, have I mentioned that practically the entire European continent, with the exception of the strong-hearted Brits at that particular time was also under the Jackboots of Nazi Germany and the Axis? So, that all being said, without going into any other history lessons, maybe it's you who should do something with your own life and re-educate yourself before being so absurdly wrong in your ignorant postings. Anyway, no hard feeling from this 'uncultured' American who stands by his original post, but if you think ANY(And notice its in capitals) ANY of my response is inaccurate; I eagerly await yours, that's if you can find someone to type it out for you, but please, don't embarrass yourself any further without doing a bit of research, at least make a debate interesting... J LEWIS.
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Mar 4, 2011)
- I think this line of discussion might better be served if it were on the forums board, rather than this story's review section gentlemen.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Snark
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 21, 2011 |
| |
Well written, plus documentation! A tad violent but that was to be expected from the synopsis. The snuff is not my thing, but otherwise an enjoyable story. More stories, please. (8/10)
|
|
|
About 