I'm going to make no judgements here whatsoever, I've just become really curious to know if many people are married but practice BDSM outside of their marriage rather than inside (having failed to successfully introduce BDSM or for any other reason which I'd be interested in hearing).

I've seen members on here who appear to live or have lived a secret BDSM life that their partner knows/knew nothing about, and I'm guessing this is more often the case than not and that it would not be usual for a vanilla couple to agree on one of them engaging in anything remotely sexual with someone else.

I guess members here may also have been the 'other party' in such an affair. Did you know they were married or did you find out down the line? What happened?

Unusual topic of discussion I know... I hope curiosity didn't really kill the cat ;-)