Was not sure if this was the best place to post this but it was the best I could choose.
I should probably explain what I mean a little more, and why this is starting to bug me. So although I am in a major city the scene is just only so big and there are only so many places to really go, and only so many of those places that really fit what your looking for. I have not been involved very long but with a small group you meet people fast and while I am far for knowing everyone the type of events I like to go to the and places I like to go and mostly familiar faces.
Now recently I had a little breakup with a Dom and it was not as clean of a breakup as I would have liked it to have been. I don't want to go into all the details but it was only of those breakups that in a vanilla situation you would probably be avoiding each other at all costs for a couple months. However with so many shared friends thats just not really possible. It just reminds me of back in school when you broke up with someone but you still had to see them everyday and all your friends were talking about it the second you left the room.
I am really trying to be an adult about this, which is why I am posting here instead of wording this differently and sending it to him as an email. I don't want him to avoid places I am going to be because I don't want to have to then avoid where he is. I also really just do not want to talk with him because I am still a bit emotional about it, so other than a hello I really don't want to interact with him. This is I guess harder than I thought it would be because I get messages from him telling me he won't be going to things (I know he wants to go to) because he thinks I will be there. Considering he ended things that just makes me even more uncomfortable.
The last couple days, when I knew it was over but it wasn't really official yet, I had gotten really emotional with him about me not wanting him to 'leave' me. While it was all true, like I said I am trying to be an adult here so I am getting back on my feet and enjoying life...I have been dumped before it sucks and it is part of life. I just found out he is telling people that I am completely not over him (which yeah I still hurt a bit but I have fully excepted it is over) and I won't leave him alone or some calling or texting him texting him. He has a reputation for saying this about everyone he has ever ended a relationship with so no one is really taking him very seriously I just really feel like I am stuck in a teenage breakup and don't know that most appropriate way to deal with this.
I really want to tell him I think its really disrespectful of him to be spreading around information I told him in confidential (since I did say some very person things) to our friends and the while he really did hurt me I am not going to be making any attempts to 'get him back' and am moving on. However, I feel like sending him a text like that (or worse a voicemail) is just going to make things worse. I just want it to fade away so that hopefully we can just be on friendly terms again, since we will continue to run into each other.
How would you deal with this? I am not dropping out of the scene for a few months, which I have seen others do, but I refuse to let myself be the person making a party uncomfortable for others because of us interacting strangely.
Last night I was talking with someone dealing with a similar situation, and failing just as miserably on how to deal with it. By the end of the conversation we felt like dating anyone in the scene was more trouble than it was worth, just keep everything D/s relation and keep vanilla activities with the person out of it, but considering in the long run I want more than just some play partners it seems like this is a necessary evil I am going to need to deal with.
So massive group of people on the internet, help me out! Please.