BDSM Titles Chamber of Oddities

[Ranai]

As one of the members of this forum whose native language is something else than English, I would like to beg your indulgence, and describe a few of the things that occur in my addled brain when I read BDSM topics or BDSM fiction.

Also, I would like to explain why, deplorably enough, I have no title. Neither online nor when I speak in German with my partner.

English Titles

Mistress
The first definition of 'mistress' I learned in school was, unfortunately, 'woman with whom someone has an extra-marital relationship'. It somehow stuck. Later I discovered schoolmistresses, Mistress as a Scottish form of address, Mistress Overdone and Mistress Quickly, and even those who interact with submissives. But I was never able to get over the initial 'He dashed over to Paris to see his mistress' definition, so not wanting to imagine myself some sort of appendage, no Mistress for me.

Lady
I think the only Lady I heard about for a long, long time was Lady Diana. Not my great role model. Sorry, never could aspire to this title.

Master
The first books in English I endeavoured to read were children's books. In 19th century stories, you find domestic servants who address certain characters as 'Master Colin' or 'Master Edward'. These characters are boys, not men. Then I got totally swamped with 'Master Frodo' in the heroic effort of reading The Lord of the Rings in the original language. Today, having consumed a considerable amount of gay male erotica, I have been able to somewhat grasp the thought of Master = grown man. But it took me a while.

Lord
Here too, The Lord of the Rings played havoc with my brain for a while. Lord Denethor and the Dark Lord and whoever. It became sort of a fantasy title in my perception. Until I started reading Dorothy L. Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey detective stories.

Slave
This English word has had an erotic connotation for me from the very beginning. But that's just my kinky disposition. I read Rosemary Sutcliff's The Eagle of the Ninth in English as a kid, and Marcus & Esca became my archetypical owner - slave pair. Damn, why did he have to grant him manumission so early in the story?!

Let's take a brief look at German now...

Meister
A number of BDSM people seem to be fond of this title, as the equivalent of 'Master'. In everyday speech, it refers to a master craftsman. While a master - apprentice relationship is certainly a hierarchical one, I have never been able to read a lot of eroticism into this title.

Herrin
You can find this 'Lady' or 'Mistress' in romance tales about the Middle Ages, and in the BDSM playroom. In everyday speech, it is not used at all. 'Herr' is the usual form of address for a man, -in is a female suffix. Due to this unfortunate linguistic circumstance, if I called myself 'Herrin', I would feel like assuming a position of authority pretending to be a man.

Sklave
Alas alas. I spent too much of my wasted youth reading Goscinny & Uderzo's Asterix comics. They are full of male slaves. I was always ogling those who happened to be wearing wrist or ankle shackles. But if I tried to call my partner 'Sklave', even in role play, I would fall apart laughing. Invariably, I would be transported back to the Gallia and Roma of 50 BC, where deserving legionaries get slugged.

What's a pair to do?
We call each other by our names. Sometimes, we say 'Geliebter' and 'Geliebte'. It means 'beloved'. And if someone asks me with a passionate expression if I would tell him what my wishes are, he does not need to use a title.


What's in your Chamber of Oddities?