Clarity is vital in what we do. Clarity of communication, clarity of thought, clarity of expectation. I have found, for myself, that having clarity of knowledge of my 'place', my status, is incredibly helpful. It gives me the freedom to be my submissive self. If I know where my place is in a Dom's life, then I have the ability to be open, to be vulnerable. Not having that knowledge leads me to hold back. To protect my emotions, to refuse to be completely vulnerable, to be unable to give as I'd like to as a submissive. And being submissive without being emotionally and mentally open is not satisfying to me. For me, it isn't submissive at all.

So, I find myself in a situation with a Dom that I believed was clear. I believed I knew my status, I believed I was aware of his, I believed he was being clear and open, as I was. I was wrong. Now I am in the unenviable position of having to discuss this with him, again, in search of better clarity, and frankly, I don't know that I'll be willing to continue the relationship. My feelings are not yet deeply involved (thank God I was being cautious about that) and at this point, I have pulled back even further.

So my question is - how important is clarity to you? When you are entering into a relationship that you hope will be more than just 'play partners', do you prefer full disclosure of other relationships and such up front, or would you rather be kept in the dark? This is not a matter, for me, of wanting to 'replace' another submissive - I was very clear about my own status of being owned by Milord - it was simply a matter of wanting to have all the pertinent information while making my decision to submit to this person.