* * *
* * *
Psychology Of Verbal Degradation



A few notes about this post. I am a male dom who deals exclusively with female submissives. The point of view of a female mistress or male submissive will largely be absent here. Also, I am not trying to reinvent the wheel here or invent terminology where it already exists. I'm only trying to express my views on the subject.

Verbal degradation is the process of verbally abusing a submissive in such a way that the submissive’s self-worth is diminished, with the goal of achieving mutual pleasure. In my opinion, verbal degradation is most effective and pleasurable when a submissive is able to understand that the desire to be verbally abused is the mental allegory to physical masochism. In each case, the submissive can take pleasure not only in the application of the words themselves, but also in the idea that she is aroused by them when the puritan rules of much of the civilized world say she should be offended. It makes for excellent foreplay, but can serve as a sex act in and of itself, especially when physical contact is not an option.

Verbal self-degradation is seldom talked-about, but it involves the female submissive saying degrading things about herself, to please her master. This is my favorite BDSM-related kink, by far, and I am forever seeking out a sub who is proactive in her own verbal degradation, while finding just as much pleasure in it as I do. The danger with more conventional verbal degradation is that the submissive may simply act as a vessel for the words of the master, repeating back to him what he has just said, parrot-like, and adding nothing on her own. While this is not always the case, I have encountered it often enough to identify it immediately.

It’s my opinion that submissives skilled in proactive, verbal self-degradation are the most precious finds, and should be treasured like rare pearls. The beauty of verbal degradation is that its utility increases with the enlightenment and qualities of articulation and creativity present in both partners. For me, it is the reason to look for a bright-eyed and eloquent submissive as opposed to an unsophisticated and timid one. The overriding theme of self-degradation for the pleasure of a master is that the submissive is pleasing me at the expense of her own self-worth…but also pleasing herself. She’s buying satisfaction for the both of us, and paying with safeguards of her own mind.

Much has been made of the fact that verbal degradation is a dangerous practice in that legitimate self-esteem issues may present themselves if the master is negligent in hauling his submissive back from the abyss. I can see how this might occur, though if you realize you’re causing actual damage and continue to verbally abuse your partner, you’re a sociopath, not a master. This behavior breaks the bond of trust that is so very important. A woman willing to subject herself temporarily to her own feelings of worthlessness and subhumanity needs to be protected from the incubation of such feelings. I tend to think of it in terms of a submissive handing me the keys to all of her good qualities, and letting me lock them away for a while. She can do this because she trusts me to restore them to her and cherish her for them.

The purpose of this post is to talk in greater detail about the practice of using words to wage the same war on a submissive’s mind that a riding crop might wage on her flesh. Let’s look at some different verbal abuse archetypes.


1. Reduction to vulgar simplicity.



Three women walk into a talent agency. The agent asks, “What kind of act do you do?”

The tallest of the three, a striking goddess of impeccable beauty, replies: “I lay in a state of partial undress while reciting the poetry of Yeats. As I do this, my sister sets up an easel and paints a beautiful landscape in the style of the early Impressionists. Finally, my other sister plays soothing music on her harp. It is a classy and culturally-rich presentation.”

The agent, clearly impressed, asks, “That sounds great, what is your act called?”

“Oh, we’re ‘Stupid Cunts’”.

-variation on old “Aristocrats’ joke, unattributed



In reduction to vulgar simplicity, the masochist feels the mental discomfort of being misunderstood, trivialized and dismissed. She is no longer a complex and interesting flower but simply a one word locker-room punchline. Imagine working fifteen years to become a concert pianist, then asking your lover what word defines you, and having him answer “twat”.

Nobody wants to be a one-dimensional human being. Every man and woman on earth is a bustling mish-mash of talents, goals, motivations, and memories. I think all of us would bridle at the idea of defining ourselves with one word, especially when the defining is being done in a negative way. Pigeonholed as a “liberal” or a “redneck” or a “hothead”, I think that each person’s immediate reaction is to cry out in objection: “No, look at me! I am a complex human being- a sum of many intricate experiences and thoughts. You cannot sum me up in one word.” That feeling is a security blanket we hold around ourselves and strongly tied to our self-worth.

In stripping that security blanket away, an enlightened sadist can confront the submissive with the fact that she is not complex at all, and, in fact a simple creature of servitude. The crashing realization that all of her unique charms can be whittled down to one unmerciful word (maybe with a few adjectives thrown in) is sobering and powerful. These are probably the easiest degrading remarks to form and execute and often take the form of a dom listing the very few (usually sexual) things the submissive is actually useful for, tactfully ignoring anything else she might have to contribute.

Dominant Examples:

“You’re nothing but a cunt!”
“The only thing you’re good for is sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass.”
“You’re a dumb bitch, isn’t that right?” (a style used to illicit a response)

You can spice these up a lot by adding elements of other archetypes, but since I haven’t discussed them yet, I’ll stick with the basics. The choice of words is important for maximum impact. Terms like “cunt” and “dumb bitch” are words you would use if you wanted to get across your utter disregard for a female. Words like “slut” and “whore” also work, but the connotation is more exclusively sexual. In the Western world, “cunt” is the atomic bomb of contempt for a female, and so it works perfectly here.

Submissive Examples:

“I’m nothing but a cunt!”
“The only thing I’m good for is sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass!”
“I’m such a dumb bitch, aren’t I?” (again, an example of verbal degradation to solicit response)

You can see how these work in a subtly different way. The “middle man” is cut out. Instead of waiting for a moaned “Yes!” or a capitulating nod in response to my statement about my submissive being a stupid twat, I can get the story straight from her mouth, leaving no doubt as to her feelings. Until you have experienced this feeling of capitulation and sacrifice for yourself, you can’t imagine how satisfying it is to see a submissive trample on her own self-esteem for the mutual, rutting pleasure of your two minds.

In both the male and female cases, these statements illustrate the bond between master and slave in that they articulate the master’s superiority as a more complex individual. The idea that he is magnanimous and messianic for deigning to rescue such a simple and useless creature from a life of irrelevance is constant. This is the essence of submission and devotion.

I will add more archetypes to this post as I have time.

- FS