Thank you all for your responses and advice. I'm feeling a bit better about myself now. I was starting to think maybe there was something wrong with me, because reading about other people's desires and reading about some of the fiction/stories on this website I was starting to feel like maybe I was too extreme. I do understand the importance of safety. I truly don't want to end up in a shallow grave in someone's back yard, but at the same time, I can't control my urges. Not having actually done many of the things I think about, yeah, maybe I will find some aren't as great as I imagine, but it's all a part of experimentation, right?

As for the hate thing, I'm not sure I'd want to be attacked by someone who does actually hate me. Feigning hate would work for me, just as long as my Master could feign it well enough, particularly during play. I don't actually want to be killed or risk it more than I have to. It's just a part of my fetish that kinda evolved over time.