He isn't sadistic, merely EXTREMELY possessive. All of my rules are related to either being demure and wholesome in public, or reducing habits or behaviors that annoy him.

I'm beginning to think I have misplaced anxiety: I am quitting the job that we have worked together through our entire marriage, and I will not be right by his side all day, every day.

So I got him pissed off; so what - it happens to everybody now and again. He needed to cave dwell for a while - men do that on occasion. None of this is permanent.

I have a HUGE change coming up, and I have heard my heartbeat with nauseating anticipation for the last two weeks. Just the possibility of the Board of Education has me smoking much, much less. I feel like I've had too much caffeine ever since I STARTED getting ready to turn in my notice.

THIS is permanent; I simply can't force myself to do that job anymore, and the effort was draining us both.

It seems that I am afraid of losing his affection simply by changing our routine - not being there for a post-lunch hug, not being there for the ride home, not being there for the afterwork chores.

I think I'm finally centered on what is really bothering me and ready to talk to him. Thank you all very much for helping me identify the nature of the big, heavy rock on my chest.