Quote Originally Posted by bambina View Post
What do you do when you are in a D/s relationship where the Dom disciplines you when you do the wrong things (DD pretty much)...but then he turns around and does the wrong things as well? No body is perfect, but how can one sit back and take a spanking for arriving home late because of traffic when that persons Dom came home late 3 weeks earlier because of a late night at the office? It's just that I grew up in a household where my father did everything right. I'm serious. The man hardly made any mistakes. The only thing I could say he is guilty of is procrastination. He hasn't cleaned the basement in years. But that's HIS area anyway. Only HE goes down there. It's allowed to be a little cluttered. But, when it came to other people, he was always punctual. He is the closest thing to perfection pretty much. So I never ever had an issue being scolded by him because he always followed his own advice and teachings. If I were, say, under the tutelage of a parent who got on me about drugs and scolded me for drinking but went through 6 packs of cigarettes a day, I'd have a beer bottle in my hand as I write this. Hypocrisy is one thing I cannot stand, especially from someone in charge of the way I do things. How am I supposed to model after that? What I'm afraid of is being punished by a Dom who makes the same mistakes (or mistakes period) without being kept in check. Not that I want to discipline anybody. I'm strictly sub. But the discipline turns a little hollow when the enforcer turns out to be a hypocrite who is telling me not to curse ever but then curses a blue street in bed when he calls me a 'fucking whore' (for fun but still...). No one's perfect. But how does one take instruction from someone who pretty much makes the same mistakes as you? Better still, how can I stop from rebelling from this person (like the example I gave you with the drinking)? Because I honestly see myself saying "No I will not go over your lap for a spanking. Didn't you just do [fill-in-the-blank] last weekend?"
when i was with my first Master, i always had to arrive on time when we had a prearranged meeting, and many times i would be tasked to do things like, if we were meeting for lunch, i was told to find a table by the garden and order a certain drink for Him, which would be waiting for Him upon His arrival. He arrived 20 minutes late and i could tell by the look in His eyes that He was wondering how i would handle that, and i had already had the drink taken back and a new one ordered, since He was late. and i stood up and kissed Him and welcomed Him, and He was very pleased with me. i didn't feel annoyed; just a little anxious, and then i saw Him there and it was all right. i certainly never thought He was a hypocrite and never denied Him because i was angry at Him or felt He should conduct Himself as i do. i am not sure that Doms are role models for submisisves - i see them as mentors and guides and teachers but not role models. i think when you have a 'what's good for the goose is good for the gander' mindset, you are placing yourself on an equal footing with your Dom, which is incorrect...your Dom is above you and you are happily beneath Him. this is not to say you are a doormat - far from it. i don't think any Dom wants a girl who has that complete lack of self-esteem. but He does want a girl who knows her place, and respects Him in all things, and He will reward her generously with bliss...