I pretty much agree with EB here.
Spell check is a must and some parts gets confusing due to some part seems to be in the wrong place in the timeline and other parts needs some more "explaining" or "descriptions" to get better and more "flowing" if you get what I mean.
Flow is very important for a story to be a smooth read and for the reader to enjoy.
Yes it sure looks like it has potential. Would love to read the rest of it.



one more little thing that doesnt really apply here but still kinda fun..
Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."