Question for all who are NOT "Switches"

[erotic_nibbles]

Maybe you've done this already...but would you ever be willing to for one day be a switch and have your partner swap rolls with you?.....Basically, Dom/me's taking the submissive role...and submissive's taking the Dom/me role?....if yes...why and what would you like to be sure and try during that one day?

[ProjectEuropa]

Maybe you've done this already...but would you ever be willing to for one day be a switch and have your partner swap rolls with you?.....Basically, Dom/me's taking the submissive role...and submissive's taking the Dom/me role?....if yes...why and what would you like to be sure and try during that one day?

The idea has gone through my head a few times this last week or so. I've been going to workshops studying rope bondage techniques this last couple months and I would love to know what good bondage felt like. I would like to discover the head thing about it too and the sense of being helpless and vulnerable. I'm not sure about torture, especially if I've given good reason to be tortured! Alas my co-travellers are absolutely hopeless at tying ropes but I would be game for most things, even if reluctantly but I would try to put on a brave face.

[BabySub]

Hmm. Interesting. I have thought about this, and I couldn't do it in a serious way. I'm too much of a sub to do that. But, we have 'scened' this a little bit online, in IM's. I have to admit, it was so much fun, lol!! I handcuffed him to a chair, and 'used' his cock, after teasing him mercilessly. He's got a thing about my ass, and I used that to 'get him in the mood' (wiggling and stuff, and him not being able to touch) I gave him a blow job, and brought him off in my face.

He loved it. LOL. He was very shocked too, which was kinda cool. I could see that kind of thing happening r/l, but nothing serious in a bdsm or D/s kind of way.

(dear God, did I really just tell you guys that?! )

[csr]

We gave it a shot--just to see. She absolutely hated the feeling of losing control—submission scared her and upset her. For me...well, she looked great, so that was a turn-on I guess, but the whole being in control and playing dominant just does nothing for me. I'm just not wired that way, in an erotic sense.

It's funny to me because I love M/f pictures, videos, stories—in fact I read them more than F/m ones—all a big turn on, but in a r/l scene I wanna be on the bottom.

[Ruby]

Mistress Ruby comes out to play - with permission, of course.

I really like your description:
Gender / BDSM Role: Fem/SelectivelySubmissive

Because it could also apply to me. I used to be a 24/7 dominant personality,
Topping from the bottom even when we played.

Then I discovered how much pleasure he gets when
I let him be in charge and how much more pleasure I receive
when we play. With Master T, I'm happy to be submissive.
With others, no.

That said, outside of the bedroom/playroom, we're very much
a partnership. So having him be submissive all day wouldln't happen.

BUT, it is a great fantasy and has possiblities for the next trip
away from the kids. I'd love to put that man on a leash and
parade him around town.

What do I like to do / would be sure to do?
Velcro restraints, my long hair as a tickler, a blindfold...
Yup, I like him spread and available. Ready to tease and please.
Maybe Mistress Ruby is going to have to come out again soon. LOL!

*** BabySub you rock! Thanks for the confession. ***

[Ranai]

I would probably not object to to trying it out with my partner. I doubt that I would get that much fun out of it, though, since imagining myself taking a submissive sexual role does nothing for my libido...

But there is more to it. It might perplex my partner. I have met his former – years ago – partner. She is a really nice woman, now happily married to someone else. He has mentioned to me that towards the end of their relationship, she told him she was fantasizing a lot about having rough sex with all sorts of tough brutal guys who take control. Nothing in a very kinky way, really, just totally letting them take over and get screwed silly. So one of the reasons why they broke up was a compatibility problem. She was not content about his submissive disposition – which I find a glorious gift and incredibly sexy.

So I don't want to give him a weird déjà vu for something I am not particularly interested in. I leave it to him. If he comes up with the idea one day, I will consider it. But, in the roles we are both happy to take, me in control, and he turning over control, there are still so many pleasures to explore...

[erotic_nibbles]

The idea has gone through my head a few times this last week or so. I've been going to workshops studying rope bondage techniques this last couple months and I would love to know what good bondage felt like. I would like to discover the head thing about it too and the sense of being helpless and vulnerable. I'm not sure about torture, especially if I've given good reason to be tortured! Alas my co-travellers are absolutely hopeless at tying ropes but I would be game for most things, even if reluctantly but I would try to put on a brave face.

No offense, but from your information listing I'm not sure.....so does this mean you are a Dom or a Domme and not submissive?

(dear God, did I really just tell you guys that?!

Yes you did and I'm so glad....Woohoo!....Are you sure you don't want to do that again?....and if you do can I watch?!

We gave it a shot--just to see. She absolutely hated the feeling of losing control—submission scared her and upset her. For me...well, she looked great, so that was a turn-on I guess, but the whole being in control and playing dominant just does nothing for me. I'm just not wired that way, in an erotic sense.

It's funny to me because I love M/f pictures, videos, stories—in fact I read them more than F/m ones—all a big turn on, but in a r/l scene I wanna be on the bottom.

That's cool that you tried it though...and now sounds like you have an even better understanding of your roles and how they fit each of you....as far as outside things that turn you on....there are lots of things that turn me on to watch or maybe see in a movie that I wouldn't want to do myself in real life

Mistress Ruby comes out to play - with permission, of course.

I really like your description:
Gender / BDSM Role: Fem/SelectivelySubmissive

Because it could also apply to me. I used to be a 24/7 dominant personality,
Topping from the bottom even when we played.

Thank you....I feel the same way and that's why I put that up...I try to be respectful to all Dom/me's, but I'm very particular about who I give myself to physically....even in chat it is hard for me because my mind gets into it so much that even a typed scene can really get to me mentally/emotionally and, therefore, physically

I would probably not object to to trying it out with my partner. I doubt that I would get that much fun out of it, though, since imagining myself taking a submissive sexual role does nothing for my libido...

But there is more to it. It might perplex my partner...So I don't want to give him a weird déjà vu for something I am not particularly interested in. I leave it to him. If he comes up with the idea one day, I will consider it. But, in the roles we are both happy to take, me in control, and he turning over control, there are still so many pleasures to explore... .

Again, I like that you both seem to have a good sense of who you are and where you belong in your relationship

Thank you all for sharing....this subject (and the other one I posted similar to this) are something that I think and wonder about a lot.....reading your posts helps me to define myself and what I want in a relationship better

~~nibbles~~

[acissej]

My husband and I sometimes trade roles, but I never really enjoy it. He's a bit of a switch, though mostly dominant, so whenever I do top, it's fully for his benefit. But I always feel like I'm putting on this big act, like I'm pretending to be something--someone--I'm not. And because I'm so focused on giving an Oscar-worthy performance, I can never relax and enjoy our intimacy. Plus, seeing him helpless and in my control, does nothing to arouse me, it's actually a turn-off.

Like csr said, "I'm just not wired that way..."

[Ranai]

Again, I like that you both seem to have a good sense of who you are and where you belong in your relationship

We found out by doing, I suppose. But I don't want to give an erroneous impression: There are lots of things we are not certain about. I would say much of what we do is 'trial and error'. Which is fun, if one basically likes being together.

Of course, sometimes, it is 'trial and spot-on'.

Good luck to you, and enjoy the process of finding out more about your wishes and interests.

[Garnet99]

This isn't exactly what you mean - but please allow my twist on the question. I could never really be a domme, it's not in me, but there is one thing my master loves to do to me that I absolutely hate. It's butt plugs, and being f***ed up the ass! I just don't like it - and it hurts!!! I would love for him to experience it, just so he might understand my feelings. I accept it for his gratification, and the fact that I love pleasing him, but would love for that to just go away!!!

They say some of the best doms have subbed......I don't know if that's true...

[erotic_nibbles]

I am still popping in to this thread to read recent responses....thank you all for your input....I'm learning a great deal from them all...and that, of course, was the point of my posting this thread (and the one similar to it I put up on the same day)

Thank you all again

~~nibbles~~

[Ruby]

This isn't exactly what you mean - but please allow my twist on the question. I could never really be a domme, it's not in me, but there is one thing my master loves to do to me that I absolutely hate. It's butt plugs, and being f***ed up the ass! I just don't like it - and it hurts!!! I would love for him to experience it, just so he might understand my feelings. I accept it for his gratification, and the fact that I love pleasing him, but would love for that to just go away!!!

They say some of the best doms have subbed......I don't know if that's true...

And if not have subbed, then at least tried out some of the things themselves so they know what we are going through.

Garnet, what a great confession! How would he react if you said, "Gee, no. we won't be doing any more of that until you let me do it to you?"

The expression on his face might be worth the "punishment" you receive later. LOL

[ValKyrie]

Maybe you've done this already...but would you ever be willing to for one day be a switch and have your partner swap rolls with you?.....Basically, Dom/me's taking the submissive role...and submissive's taking the Dom/me role?....if yes...why and what would you like to be sure and try during that one day?

We used to do this, when I was at a time in my life when I was "evolving " from switch to Dominant.

However, I wasn't truly submitting as I retained control. While my maso needs were being met, it was only to the degree to which I wanted them to be met.

I haven't bottomed for anyone in a very long time and have had no desire to. So, no, it isn't likely to happen again...but then, who knows?

[slavelucy]

Oh god no! i'd hate that, and i'd be SO crap at it. It's an interesting question though, because i wouldn't say i was submissive at all in much of my life...but actually dominating someone in an 'official' capacity, lord, no. If i did, i could consider it with someone i hadn't already subbed to...but not with my own dominant, it would either create friction or turn into a silly joke (likely the latter! ). i could probably do it with someone i didn't know..but i wouldn't enjoy it.

Having said all that, i do think it's quite a turn on when a dominant does something particularly tender at the end of a scene or something..*tries to think of an example*....like, kneeling down and giving you head or something....i know that's nothing to do with the subject techically, i just mean that humility occasionally raises it's head (so to speak) in the oddest, but nicest of ways in Ds. In addition, humility would be the only thing i'd have any interest in 'testing' (as you put it in the opening post)...but i'm not sure i'd need to anyway, if that makes any sense.

Good question nibbles.

sl

[Barton]

Nope, as Mel Brooks said..."It's good to be the king"

[ObsidianCaine]

I can’t see myself ever doing that because it’s so much of not who I’am to be subservient to someone else in such a manner, the thought and action of doing so revolts me to a great degree really. Being dominant is who I'am.

[atantricchic]

I've attempted to Pro Domme in the past, but I was horrible at it and it wound up being an embarrasing horrible incident for all involved :yuck:

I'll never try it again.

Some things are just too personal to make professional...