The Perfect Submissive Guy Blog Title

If you do a web search on submissive or submission, invariable tons of information can be found on submissive females but in comparison very little about submissive males. What you do find is largely either unflattering or just plain wrong.

Obviously every individual is unique and different so not every submissive male is going to be identical, but lack of information about male submission I think has led to the development of a lot of disinformation and erroneous stereotypes. In large measure I think submissive males are largely misunderstood.

Male Submission is all About the Kinky Sex

It is true for me and I am certain most other submissive males, that we do have a strong attraction for FemDom fantasies. Actually I think this is only natural. In fact I once read a survey that claimed that 53 percent of all men, not just submissive men have entertained fantasies of being forced to submit sexually to a strong, dominant woman. If you think about it I think the reason for this is easily explained. As males we are expected by society to be the one who asks for dates, make the first attempts at initiating sex and when we meet a woman willing to sleep with us, to take charge in the bedroom. So I think it is only to be expected that at least mentally, men would want to explore the opposite where the woman is the initiator and in control in the sexual realm.

We submissive men, with our interests in some of the kinkier aspects of sex, simply carry our fantasies a bit further by imagining the use of chains, bonds, whips, paddles and the like, wielded by women scantily clad in leather and high heels or boots. Partly, I think these fantasies are motivated by some feeling deep in our psyches that we deserve to be punished for our naughty thoughts, for wanting to be used like a sex toy by an assertive, powerful woman. And yet the very idea of being spanked, whipped, paddled or having our male genitalia tortured as punishment, while we are bound, helpless and exposed, also for reasons I do not even begin to claim to fully understand have the power to provoke intense sexual arousal.

The authentic submissive male desires and longs to be dominated and disciplined by a dominant woman. It is a void we feel a strong, overwhelming need to have filled. Being dominated, disciplined, and controlled by a woman that we trust and feel affection for, fulfills us, brings us tranquility, contentment and helps us find peace within ourselves. We also long to worship and serve such a woman and earning from her praise for our service and seeing that we satisfy her is the real rewards we seek and find meaningful. If you think about it, submissive men actually spend a good part of their lives in denial. Few dominant women would ever consider giving their submissive oral sex, often limit him from having penetrative sex with her and commonly they severely limit a submissive male’s access to masturbation. So if being a submissive male was all about the kinky sex, then the attraction for submission would wear quite thin, very quickly.

Submissive Males Abdicate Their Masculinity

As a male I can say that there is definitely a struggle within yourself between your masculinity and the desire to submit to women. I think pretty much every submissive man experiences that struggle. But one of the biggest misconceptions about the male submissive in my opinion is that we abdicate our masculinity when we submit to a woman. While it is true that some men want to be feminized and emasculated, I think the majority of submissive men are still quite masculine. While dominant women like to dominate and control masculine males I think what the desire is to suppress the trappings of the macho male, not emasculate them in general. There is a big difference I think in stripping a man of his macho ways and his male ego and stripping him of his masculinity.

Men Submit to Escape the Stress of Being Dominant in Everyday Life

I have read frequently that since men live under the societal expectations that being manly means they have to fill the role of the dominant sex in public, then in private submissive men use submission as a escape from the stress of always having to be in charge and having to make all the decisions.

I allow this could be true of some but frankly, I have a professional position that requires me to fill a dominant role at all times, make critical decisions daily that have real consequences for other people and generally impose my will on others, both males and females. I don’t find it stressful in the least, but actually thrive in that environment and feel no need to escape from it. I am a reasonably intelligent and well educated man who has no difficulty thinking independently or making decisions.

I do however have a deeply felt need to submit to the control of, revere, worship and serve strong dominant women. It fills a need for me that really has nothing to do with anything beyond the need itself. My submissive needs and desires are not something I can simply choose to deny or suppress anymore than I might deny that I am male or deny that I am a human being. They are I think simply motivated by a nature oriented and focused on meeting the needs of another and putting that person’s needs and desires above my own so that they will feel pleased and fulfilled.

All Submissive Men Want to be Feminized

As mentioned, some submissive men do want to be forcefully feminized and emasculated to the extreme. The desire to be dressed, made up, treated like and even perceived as being females. Just like there are some submissive men who want to be feminized, I think there are also some dominant women who do desire to totally feminize a submissive man, yet in both cases I think it is the exception and not the rule.

Personally, I am quite happy being male and secure in my masculinity. As much as I admire and respect women, I don’t want to be one. I don’t want to wear dresses, grow boobs, be castrated or have my male sexual organs surgically altered into female organs. Most dominant women I think want their submissive men to act masculine in everyday life because the real attraction for them is having power and control over a strong, masculine man. They enjoy knowing that their feminine power and sexual energy can cause an ordinarily, normal masculine man to fall to his knees and melt into submission right before their very eyes and become willing to do whatever they command. The attraction then to feminizing such men by forcing them to dress in women's panties, lingerie or to submit to a strap on harness and dildo as the receiver instead of the giver, is that those aren’t things the men would ordinarily choose to voluntarily do on their own. Instead their need to be dominated, disciplined, and controlled by a woman is so acutely felt that they are willing to let go of their male pride and male egos to have their deeply felt needs to submit satisfied.

Submissive Men are Conflicted About Their Sexuality

Clearly, my post is confined to F/m, D/s relationships. I have taken that approach because it is all I know, not to slight submissive men who submit to male dominants. I frankly don’t know enough about the dynamics of same sex submission to speak about intelligently. So my approach is clearly from the perspective of a hetro-normative submissive male.

Since because of my orientation, adult females are my natural choice for a sexual partners, it is quite predictable that dominant females are my choice of who to submit to. I don’t feel the least conflicted about my sexuality and am more than a little confident that I am not gay or even bi-sexual. Men, even men I would regard as attractive, do not provoke sexual arousal for me. I freely admit that I find it enjoyable and extremely arousing to have my anus stimulated and penetrated at the hands of a dominant female with the use of a strap-on and other anal toys. But enjoying anal penetration does not cause me to question my heterosexual orientation.

Submissive Males Want to be Dominated by a Cruel Bitch

On the surface, it might seem that submissive males are attracted to dominant females who always act in bossy, aggressive, opinionated and no-nonsense manner, in other words as a quintessential bitch. Such a personality does of course send out definite signal of dominance and this type of outward expression does I think attract and excite the submissive male, especially in the sexual realm. But in my considered opinion, the desire to be dominated ad controlled by a woman who acts in this manner exclusively, is more confined to the fantasy realm than real life.

Most submissive males I think also crave and need love and nurturing. Love and nurturing is the flip side of the female authority coin. Men need love and nurturing for emotional health and social stability. Outwardly we may want to be cruelly dominated by the bitch but inwardly we want both the bitch and the nurturer.

While this is my own subjective take on things, hopefully my imperfect insights will foster greater understanding about submissive men.

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