bpqueen

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions, experiences, and feelings. Thursday, I met with my Master to go over what I was to wear for his gatherings over the weekend. We settled on a pair of jeans, a Victorian sleeveless shirt, and a leather waist cincher for Friday, and a pinstripe skirt, black and red nylons, and a backless fuzzy black top for Saturday. We then went to the leather store to pick out materials for my collar! They did not have the blacksmith leather that he was looking for, but we picked up some rabbit fur for lining, and he said that his design is almost complete. In the meantime, I have a silk rope with a noose tied in it that Master has me wear. We both believe it to be highly appropriate for both of our personalities, and he promised me that no one else will ever be able to touch that rope but him and I.

The gathering on Friday went well, except that I found out that cold medicine and wine do not mix well. I passed out for about 5 hours in the middle of the party, but Master said that even while I was sick I was asking permission and showing deference :-) He was very proud of me.

Saturday, however, was when time stopped and only we existed. Master had a Scene gathering and once it got fully underway, it was like we were in a dream. When he put me up on the cross, I had three people on the bed in front of me anxious to see my reactions to the "public" flogging for the first time. I was nervous, but when the music turned to the Cruxshadows, I lost myself in the beat and the pain. I ended up in a trance, barely able to hear the whispers of amazement from those watching, and when Master stopped, I did not want to come down. He told me Monday, that he, too, lost himself in a trance and closed his eyes, letting his mind, body, and leather trace our feelings over my body. The other participants ran their fingers over the marks, and watched as Master gathered me in a sheet of Satin and laid me down to revel in my state of calm and peacefulness.

After a food run, Master then brought out the wax candles and his athame, and I lost myself again in the sensations from the burning wax and the peeling off with the knife. He marvelled at the amount of trust that I showed in him, and we spent the rest of the night in eachother's arms.

When talking with him yesterday, he said that he had heard from some of the other participants, and that our displays of emotion and sensuality had moved one of the other Doms to take more of an interest in his Sub and increase the personal attention that he was giving her. This, of course, took her to cloud nine, and she had to call my Master and thank him effusively for indirectly influencing her Master.

My Master also told me that our time together is making him such a better person. He is taking more responsibility in his everyday activities, standing up for things he believes in more, and overall enjoying life more. It makes me so happy to know that I am having such a pleasing effect on my Master. This was our first scene together, and my husband has only known about our relationship for a week, but everyone is happy and OK with the activities, and I am feeling so much more calm and peaceful.

I have been forbidden from touching myself until I see my Master next, and he is sending me some tasks to complete as well. I am a little nervous about some questions that he would like answered, because I am not yet ready to describe my deepest desires and secrets to him. I do not even know some of them myself, and I am not afraid of what he will think, but rather that he will find a way to make them a reality, and somehow I think that fantasy will always be better than reality...

Well, need to get my mind out of the gutter and concentrate on more productive tasks...until next time!!