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You know I sit here this morning and I wonder...how many times I have sat, exactly where I am and taken it for granted. This morning I sit here and my heart is bursting. So why not share the joy!

I am loved. It is a feeling that I can not describe. it is a feeling I am so blessed to have that I smile. Tears fill my eyes as the feeing swells in my heart. You see to say that out loud, to actually BELIEVE it is a huge thing. I have always loved others and I know I was loved by my family and even friends. I sit here today and I feel the deepest most beautiful and full heart.

My Dom is amazing. Trebor. He comes in here from time to time but his online time is often spent exclusively with my beautiful amazing and truly gorgeous subbie sister, lychee. She is one in a million…. I don’t blame him wanting to spend the time with her…who wouldn’t! He knows how much I love this place, how many friends I have here. How I enjoy to play and tease and he is happy for me to do that within the room if I want too.

So anyways he does pop in from time to time, I know I talk about him and smile. I may well be a little boring in speaking of him too much but he is just a wonderful Master, a true and genuine Dominant. An ambassador to the lifestyle and the love of my life.

The last few months have been filled with ups and downs. Health and work related issues. Wonderful learning and growing. All the stuff we all face every day. We kind of accept it. We kind of get up deal with the day, laugh (or cry) our ways through it, then retire to bed. Repeat the process. Today was going to be another day of repeating the process until I sat here. Master is sleeping, I have done my chores I came on to chat... the room was empty so I sat and I began to smile….I am loved. The man of my dreams is sleeping peacefully upstairs I sit in his house (which I moved into but I love calling it his house….don’t know why….maybe I’m just a little weird like that!) and I had that beautiful realisation…..He absolutely believes in and loves me. WOW! Me…..so my morning is a happy place. I am alive, living the dream I didn’t dare believe I would have. I share this journey with 2 amazing people who make me feel like nothing I have ever felt before in my life…..just WOW.

I chose to write it as a blog for 2 reasons….firstly I want him and my beautiful sis to stumble across it when they do visit and see the way they have made me feel *smiles* secondly, I never believed things like this would happen to someone like me. I never believed I deserved it. Never thought anyone would want me so badly that they would help me through the demons and pain and such…..and I KNOW others who may read this probably feel that same self-doubt. So I chose to write it down and say…things like this DO happen to people like us. We do deserve it and when the loneliness and tears and self-doubt play heavy on your heart, find the smile. Your time will come. Read, learn, grow, ask questions and take sensible and small steps to be that person you deserve to be. It really happens. Don’t settle for second best you are worth so much more than that. Good luck in your discovery and when you do find your joy….please tell me all about it.

Ok gushing and joy filled blog is now finished. Hope it made you smile. Have a great day. *giggles*