Laila

With a staggering sense of accomplishment - I finally conquered the 50 Books a year mark last year.
Here's the proof:


January

01. Joseph Conrad - Heart of Darkness - [1,5/5]
02. Cornelia Funke - Tintenherz (Inkheart) - [4/5]
03. Banana Yoshimoto - Goodbye Tsugumi - [3,5/5]
04. Isabel Allende - Inés of my Soul - [4,5/5]
05. Julie Orringer - How to Breathe Underwater - [5/5]


Feburary

06. ...

Once again I am without a Master - which is so much a lifestyle way of saying 'alone' that it makes me recoil.

In a way it was a longer process to loose him than it was to attain that rare and wonderful, mythical thing - a Master, one that fits, one that makes my fantasies soar.
When I felt his interest waning, being replaced by some inner demons and outer ones and inwardly turned thoughts - I wanted to stick with him. I was so used to waiting for him, that it seemed like ...

I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my Master. He is still going easy on me, taking it slow - letting things come naturally. I love him for that - I love how he gives us both time, how he makes me feel so complete in my submission, how he touches me.

I am still aglow with these feelings he planted in me. Today I know what the source, what the true form of my submission is. I know now that even though I might be naturally submissive - it has never really worked one hundred ...

About a month ago, my best friend A. asked me if I wanted to be his slave. It was a beautiful night, we had known of each others tendencies for long, had shared a lot, secrets, weaknesses, intimacy. We'd slept together before, sometimes with hint of D/s but not really. It was always difficult and complicated because I love him and he isn't ready for something new (he's going through a divorce) but somewhere he loves me too. He's crazy protective of me for one.

But that night things ...